Dear Harry:

Congrats for graduating undergrad biology!

You decided to take a gap year before going to graduate school, and you are looking for jobs. That “emptiness on the verge of loneliness” inside you (I like the way you put words together), it can be filled by having meaningful interactions with other people. It can’t be filled in isolation. It is so because we are social animals. We thrive when connecting with others, energized; and we get tired, exhausted and depressed when isolated for a long time.

“happiness is an inside job” but not in isolation. As humans, we are not designed to be alone for long, and so, “relying on people or situations” is to an extent, necessary. I suppose happiness is an inside-and-outside job, both.

Even if you are used to being alone, if you feel uncomfortable and unskilled interacting with people, you can still learn to connect with a few other people, one at a time, you can still acquire social skills, bit by bit, and practice those, and over time, you can connect well with at least a few others. It is a.. different kind of school, a social skills school of sorts.

anita