December 22, 2019 at 6:15 pm #329015
I hope all is well with you. I have graduated with my undergrad in biology. I plan on taking a gap year to work and figure out my next step for a grad program. I have been noticing an emptiness on the verge of loneliness inside me. I feel like I have more time since I am looking for jobs. This time affluence is concerning in a sense. I do not have much family around me and I do not have any friends after college. I have hobbies and things I am learning, but I just feel a sense of being aimless. I feel like I have time, but I don’t want to be busy. I am trying to see how my mind is when I am not busy and I am trying to process these feelings rather than just distracting myself through activities and busyness. I am not sure if I just need more connections or is this likely a phase that I am just getting used to? If happiness is an inside job, then how can I be self-reliant for my own happiness rather than relying on people or situations? Please let me know what your thoughts are!
Thanks,December 23, 2019 at 6:41 am #329051
Congratulation on graduating. I think a gap year is best for those who are still searching for the things they truly enjoy or want to do. It’s a great choice, you also mentioned that you have a sense of emptiness within, it may be because you haven’t found what it is that you truly enjoy, you’ve gone to school and accomplished that goal and now you’re planning on finding a job and figuring out what grad program you want to enter. Though it’s not as exciting because at this point in your life you thought you’d be further than where you are in other aspects of you life.
It’s best for you to process those feelings that you are having and try to understand what it is that you are going through deep within and why you feel the way you do. Once you understand why it is, you’d be more aware of them and can deal with it head on, instead of distracting yourself and pushing your feeling aside. Happiness is an inside job, the thing is you may have not been able to gain that happiness within because you haven’t dealt with what or whom has hurt you or disappointed you.
What I’ve learned on my journey of self healing and happiness is that I first had to forgive others and myself from either letting me down or leaving me. It can be a daunting task however, it’s a task that’s worth taking on for your peace, happiness and self care.
If you rely on other’s to determine your happiness there’s chances that they will hurt you, because we are only human beings and we do make mistakes, if we put our all in to people to satisfy us we will be left disappoint someday. You seem like a honest and good person. I know everything will work out for you. Try journalizing, or voice recording so that you can look back on how far you’ve came from the place you were once in. Which will be an uplifter and help you be more aware of yourself and emotions.December 23, 2019 at 9:24 am #329115
Congrats for graduating undergrad biology!
You decided to take a gap year before going to graduate school, and you are looking for jobs. That “emptiness on the verge of loneliness” inside you (I like the way you put words together), it can be filled by having meaningful interactions with other people. It can’t be filled in isolation. It is so because we are social animals. We thrive when connecting with others, energized; and we get tired, exhausted and depressed when isolated for a long time.
“happiness is an inside job” but not in isolation. As humans, we are not designed to be alone for long, and so, “relying on people or situations” is to an extent, necessary. I suppose happiness is an inside-and-outside job, both.
Even if you are used to being alone, if you feel uncomfortable and unskilled interacting with people, you can still learn to connect with a few other people, one at a time, you can still acquire social skills, bit by bit, and practice those, and over time, you can connect well with at least a few others. It is a.. different kind of school, a social skills school of sorts.