Forum Replies Created
February 20, 2020 at 3:54 pm #339218
I hope you have been well. I am in a similar boat as you. I felt intense loneliness this week. It is weird thinking of the girl I like all the time. I have never been in a proper relationship as well and I felt incomplete as well. Recently, I have been deepening my mindfulness practice and I feel much better in connecting with myself. I agree with Anita that you need to start with you then try to look for people. Let us know if you need any help, my friend!
HarryJanuary 19, 2020 at 6:02 pm #334259
I hope you have been well. I just followed this thread. I have been going through something very similar. I expressed my feelings towards a young lady I really liked. She appreciated my authenticity with her and wished us to be friends. The day after that meeting, I was sobbing uncontrollably and felt worthless. It is very interesting in hindsight; I was crying for something that never existed. Now, I still have thoughts of her even though we are friends. I realize that it will take time to heal and move forward. I have learned that relationships are complicated because only the person knows how they truly feel and sometimes it is their own insecurities that can lead them to want to be just friends. It could be that she just wants to get to know me better first or just simply that she wants to be friends. I didn’t mean to rant my own story on your thread but know that you have support! Please keep us updated!
Thanks,December 22, 2019 at 6:24 pm #329017
It is amazing you are willing to learn different things! I am the same way, I am learning how to dance and play the guitar now that the semester is over. I also want to get back to oil painting and writing blogs again. Do you feel that you are trying it all at once? Sometimes, when I do that, I don’t get anything done. Other times, I just force myself to push through the periods of uncreativity and still try to do something. When it comes to finishing, I feel that it is never really done because you can always change something to make your work better. Sometimes, I just go with the flow and do the best I can do and simply trust that ending is good. This takes off the pressure to have the perfect one. I hope that this was helpful! Let me know what you think.January 6, 2017 at 8:29 am #124672
Hi Melissa. Thank you for your thoughts. I agree that questioning life and becoming overly introspective is bad because it can lead to meaningless rumination. I guess finding your interests is the best thing to do if you want to know your passion, and fulfillment. From that, you can derive your life’s purpose. The more you think of it, the harder it gets to explain yourself. Connecting with people is a little hard, especially at beginning for me. I am trying to meet people. I guess since I don’t spend time with family, I put more emphasis on friends. This emphasis on friends can be hard when no one wants to do something with you or are too busy with their lives. I like to be genuine with friends, and sometimes I feel like I am the only one contacting them to do something. This feeling makes me reluctant to connect with people because I feel that people just move on with their lives, and I am the one left behind, in quiet desperation.
What does the tiny buddha community say about this?
HarryDecember 27, 2016 at 12:09 pm #123718
Thank you Anita. What type of group psychotherapy should I attend? Do you know of any responsible dating site?
HarryDecember 27, 2016 at 11:51 am #123714
Hi. Anita. Honestly, you are a wonderful person. I am happy I came here. It’s great connecting with you here. Who knows, maybe I might have the honor of bumping into you one day haha. It would be awesome when I find that connection! I have one doubt. The thing is that I spend a lot of time alone. So, especially during my holidays, I wonder what to do. I mean, I don’t want to waste time, but I just wonder what should I be doing? I sometimes wonder whether I would have this question if I could spend time with my family. Honestly, I love to learn too, but I learned that its only good if you apply it. So, I get confused how should I be spending this time wisely, I don’t want to just watch TV, or do something unproductive.
HarryDecember 26, 2016 at 9:53 pm #123652
Hi Anita. I see, you are introvert like me. Honestly, I feel like I am an Ambivert, but closer to introverted Ambivert, haha. True, Christmas is spent with people who make you feel like home. Well, that connection is still under search, haha. How did you first start connecting? I feel like in the modern world today, it’s hard to connect in the beginning. I need that help. I have another question, how do you manage your life, and reply to everyone here, in a thoughtful manner? I have a lot of philosophies and can talk about life for hours. However, I can only listen to problems to a certain degree. I feel like doing counseling for me would bring me to think about the clients during my free time too!
HarryDecember 24, 2016 at 12:36 pm #123492
I forgot to add. I have a lot of free time now from school break. However, I just don’t know what to do. I literally just play games on the ipad or read life articles online, while wondering how my friends are spending time with their family.December 24, 2016 at 12:35 pm #123491
Thank you Anita. This type of connection definitely seems impossible to attain. I guess I feel like I am dull and not living fully because I don’t do new activities at all. It seems hard to connect, hard to feel alive truly like I did as a child. I feel like all I do is what is necessary to be successful in getting a good career, but my mental grit is very low. I guess it’s so low because I don’t have any childhood memories that I actually remember, and not a strong connection. Sometimes, I just don’t know what to do. Sometimes, I feel like I should only pursue career goals, but I find it hard to balance it with having fun, and togetherness. I feel distant. Finding this connection seems hard. I need to something about believing in myself more and keep on going. Although I am trying to connect with current distant friends, it is hard because I am not too close with any of them. Plus, all of them are spending time with their family, and rarely respond. Well, Merry Christmas Anita! I hope you have a great time with family and friends yourself.
HarryDecember 23, 2016 at 4:18 pm #123394
Thank you, Anita, I have written something in my journal about your idea:
I have always dreamed of being in a family where mom and dad are great. Where, there is family dinner together every day, talking about everything. A family that always does something together after dinner, like playing games, or watching television together, and having fun. Then, in the family, we do something every weekend.On weekend, the family cleans the house, children learn how to do cook and other things from parents. Then, on special holidays, the family does something great every year, including traveling to different places. This is the family aspect. Now with myself, living fullest means doing something with friends every week, having fun and trying new things. I am passionate about something and have many interests in addition to acquaintances. Plus, I am friendly, laughing and enjoying life in every moment, looking forwards
That’s me in my imaginary life. I was wondering myself. I feel like I don’t want to succeed, like I am not passionate enough, good enough. I don’t know how, but I need help in self-discipline and somehow pushing my mind to feel like I am good enough, and keep doing, than always comparing myself and simply thinking all the time. So, what do you suggest Anita?
HarryDecember 22, 2016 at 7:57 am #123298
Thank you, Anita, for bringing in that light into me! Although this may contradict my previous thinking, I just want your thoughts on my journal entry:
Sup bro! I had a good trip this week. I left next morning at 5 and drove until 12:00. That’s the longest I have driven. It was fun. I honestly enjoy going on a trip and listening to my favorite music on high. Well, I saw my mom and we went to PA to visit my uncle for the weekend. The drive to PA was terrible because NJ had so much ducking traffic, and people drive rough there. Visiting my uncle was fun, I got to meet my cousin, and grandma as well! Well, then I got a little bored because all we did was play x box, not really going anywhere or doing something new. Well, we prank called. A lot. We occupied peoples time by asking them weird questions. Overall visiting family was fun, but I feel that we never do anything. Maybe I still don’t have that deep connection with my uncle and all, so I did not feel the intensity of closeness as I would usually. I also did Christmas shopping and got myself a new watch, Nike sweatpants, and gonna get a new game to play. I still did not feel good about myself after shopping. I know I need that deep genuine connection. However, I feel like I have turned into a dull person: I don’t feel that excitement, that energy, that vitality I used to have when I was younger. I want to feel like I live life fully, not just a dull person. This is the source of my boringness usually.
HarryDecember 21, 2016 at 11:33 am #123221
Hi, Anita. I just came home from my trip. It feels dull because when I was visiting my mom, I had a bigger space to live in and familiar people around. Now, I am into a dorm-like place with my sister. I know she cares for me, but usually, I feel like I don’t want to live with her, just maybe see her once in a while. I kind of isolate myself from her, because I feel like I am reminded of past, but I shouldn’t feel that way if I have let go of my past. I also isolate myself because I don’t like to hang out with her since she is seven years older than me, so we only talk about same stuff and memories. I don’t know why, but living with my family is kind of hard. I prefer to be alone, but still, yearn their connection. I mean right now I miss mom and I know she loves me and cares for me very much. I know that I need a connection from others, and I am not boring. However, I feel that I need to experience life more and learn to appreciate what I have. I need help in finding how can I see the bright side of everything, and experience life than just surviving it? I feel I need to do this because I have a hard time practicing gratitude, and feel like why do anything with life? Why have friends when most will leave you? Why trouble yourself with people when you can just enjoy? I hate these questions because they make me feel even more disconnected and isolated with the world. How do you feel I am doing with healing so far?
Thank you for your help
HarryDecember 21, 2016 at 11:21 am #123216
Hi Raima. I am at that similar phase of life. But remember, life is a mystery, you never know when it might change. If you don’t like your job, I recommend doing something that you enjoy, and maybe take a class, or pick up a hobby that brings life into you.
Do you live alone?
Are you close with your family and friends?
HarryDecember 18, 2016 at 3:10 pm #122979
Hey Anita. I totally think you hit the mark. Although I love being in family and probably think of family often. I always compare myself to a friend, who has a great family. But I didn’t like to talk about past and problems with my sister and mother. They never do anything, other than gossiping and talking about everything Will be good and talking about life problems. I want to just enjoy life and do something, not just talk about stuff. So, I don’t even know what other families do when they get together, just curious because usually for me it feels like nothing. That’s also the reason why I need more and deeper connection with people. That’s probably the reason why I always question about life’s purpose, and deeply think and ruminate in my head.thats the root why I have so many mental issues sometimes. What do you think?
Thank youDecember 17, 2016 at 6:11 pm #122949
I agree Anita. I need to find more people to connect with. I have 2 things to talk about. I took a road trip to see my mom and uncle this week. With my sister, my mom, and myself in the same car, I felt like I wanted to be alone. I did not know what to talk about. My sister and mom talked about past and memories of our family. Now, I don’t remember memories with my father, just through my mom and sisters stories. I don’t know why, but it didn’t feel like family. I guess, I don’t like talking about emotional stuff and life, but rather prefer to do activities with family. Now after I came to my uncle she house, we spent time together with family. That felt a little good, with my mom, sister, myself, grandma, and my uncle’s family. I figure I constantly have mood changes. I just don’t know what to do with them. I guess I always feel I am boring, so I see everything is boring. I need help in how to shift my mood to gratefulness and seeing life as enough. I want to find happiness in everything I do and ave a growth mindset. I am sorry for the jumble of words and repitition.