Home→Forums→Relationships→I need to let go of the need to be the most beautiful→Reply To: I need to let go of the need to be the most beautiful
It sounds to me like this desire to be the prettiest girl in the room is filling some deep-seeded need of yours, it offers a comfort to you, which means you have a belief that needs to be changed. The hard part is figuring out what that belief or need is, but once you do, you’ll be able to begin to change it. I once had a shopping addiction that I had to do this with, and once I figured out what the REAL issue was and changed my beliefs by coming to realizations that helped me, the addiction just sort of vanished.
The only way I’ve found to do this is to ask yourself questions and follow the trail of answers until you get to the root. Things like how do you feel when you’re the prettiest in the room and why? How do you feel when you’re NOT the prettiest in the room and why? What will actually happen if you’re not the prettiest in the room and why do you think you’re afraid of it? You don’t have to answer any of those questions here but just ask them for yourself and then ask more questions and answer them until you figure out what the root cause is. Lots of times it stems from something that happens in childhood, for example, maybe you found validation in your looks from someone who was important to you when you were young and you felt like this person would only appreciate you for being the cutest/prettiest and felt a DEEP need for this person to appreciate you, so it made your desire to be that much stronger. To change that belief in that case would be to realize either that person valued you for more than your beauty OR that in the grand scheme of things, that person’s opinion didn’t matter as much as you felt and you had lots of other worthwhile attributes.
It’s good thing that you are recognizing this issue now and you should be proud of yourself for seeking help and wanting to work on it because changing that belief will help you greatly in the future, because, as we all know, beauty (at least youthful beauty) tends to fade as we age, and there will come a point where there is always someone prettier in the room (and with that said, did that statement bring up any feeling for you? If it did, ask yourself exactly how you feel and why you think you feel that way).