During the winter times I feel like the gender dysphoria is less intense because I can wear layers to hide my body, but during the summer I feel like the gender dysphoria is more intense. I am thinking that during the summer months I should wear looser t-shirts. In addition, I have heard from other transgender guys in the “Binder Boys” forum on Facebook that wearing darker colors and patterns may make the body look thinner and more toned and the patterns may draw the person’s attention (other people who look) to the patterns on the clothing rather than to parts of the body that may cause the transgender person to feel dysphoria. One of the transgender guys said that they think of themselves as a soul that they can customize with how they want to be seen because the soul is energy and people are spiritual beings and when they feel dysphoric they think of their body as a soul and they work on visualizing how they want to look and they find that it helps them. I think that the intense gender dysphoria that I have often makes me worried about my body which is why sometimes I find it difficult to focus on other things. I do wish that I wasn’t so anxious about myself and could relax some of the tension that I feel. Perhaps with more meditation I can work on detaching from my gender dysphoria so that it is less prominent and doesn’t interfere with my focus on life tasks. The gender dysphoria feels like a resistance in my body and I find myself holding myself tightly and feel like I am fighting myself to work on making myself look masculine because I worry about any curves on my body. This is why I am hoping to transition and start testosterone therapy as soon as possible because I know that it will help with the dysphoria. But currently I feel like I need to stop trying to fight with myself through working out a lot and binding my chest tightly because it is quite straining on my physical body. Even though the physical strain helps with the emotional gender dysphoria it is still straining on myself.