Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→I do this for my sensual satisfaction, is it wrong?
- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 10 months ago by Anonymous.
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January 8, 2020 at 2:05 pm #332109FrederickParticipant
Hi everyone, im new here!
So lately i’ve bought girl’s hair wig and girl’s clothes and im a male. I lately like to try the wig and the clothes that i buy. The girl’s clothes that i buy consist of girl’s jeans, cropped hoodie, tied hoodie, skirt, baggy tops, etc. Im a boy with a short structure and that features is a disadvantage for boys and i feel that when i try girl’s clothes i can feel happy and i feel like showing my body. I never wear the wig and clothes outside.
So lately i’ve been wanting so that someone could see me in this wig and outfit (i want it to be someone random). I’m renting a room in a house, so when it’s like 11 pm, everyone is here asleep and at that time i order a food delivery (i just tried this tonight), so that the delivery guy can see me as a girl and my body. I’m wearing a cropped hoodie that show my belly button and a denim jeans along with the wig, i added a face mask to hide my identity, when i look at the mirror i look like a girl with the mask and wig. So when the delivery guy came, i feel so excited especially in wearing the cropped hoodie and when im taking the delivery i notice him looking downwards towards my hand but i think he’s looking at my stomach too but im not sure but i still feel excited (im white and my stomach look like a girl’s). I really wanna do this again, next time im thinking of wearing a tie up hoodie to show more stomach to feel excited, do u think this is wrong? Might this affect me negatively?
Frederick
January 8, 2020 at 2:30 pm #332145AnonymousGuestIt is not wrong, Frederick, for you to wear anything you want in the privacy of your own room.
It is wrong for you to order food for the purpose, or part purpose of taking advantage of the food delivery person (who is trying to make a living) by dressing up for him so to get him sexually excited.
The food delivery guy is there not to be used by you as a sexual object or to witness your sensual excitement.
anita
January 8, 2020 at 6:24 pm #332187FrederickParticipantDear anita
So u mean i shouldnt be dressing up for him to get him sexually excited and for my sensual excitement? Even though i help in his living by paying money. It’s just that im afraid i’ll get caught if someone in my house woke up and saw me dressing up like that, i’m also worried that this dressing up could cause addiction and affect me mentally. But i really like dressing up to get men sexually excited, what should i do?
- This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by Frederick.
January 9, 2020 at 10:19 am #332299AnonymousGuestDear Frederick:
Yes, I mean you shouldn’t be dressing up for the food delivery guy “to get him sexually excited” because when he delivers food to you, he is performing his job duty: to deliver food. His job duty is not to attend to your sexual needs.
In addition to the above, the people living in your house can be very surprised indeed if and when they see you dressed in the way you described, and that can cause great discomfort for all parties, and you might get evicted. Better to prevent such unpleasant experiences.
“what should I do?”-
– Wikipedia has an entry on Transvestic fetishism. It says: Transvestic fetishism is a psychiatric diagnosis applied to those who are thought to have an excessive sexual or erotic interest in cross-dressing.. It differs from cross-dressing for entertainment or other purposes that do not involve sexual arousal, and is categorized as paraphilia (“the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors”) in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.”
* You wrote in your original post: “I’m a boy with a short structure and that features is a disadvantage for boys”- it is possible that you suffer from gender dysphoria as well.
In summary: I suggest that you make an appointment with a medical doctor, a psychiatrist, for an evaluation. The psychiatrist, one who is familiar with Transvestic fetishism (and with gender dysphoria, if it applies to you), will be able to advise you further.
anita
January 10, 2020 at 9:25 am #332431StefanieParticipantFrederick,
Wow, your posting brings me back to my hormone raging young adulthood. First of all, enjoy it while the intensity lasts. It’s just one aspect being human. Just PLEASE, direct it appropriately.
Anita is right about not involving the food delivery guy, or anyone else without their knowledge and consent. Many of our ‘sisters’ are murdered by males enraged by our existence. Do not put yourself into a situation of randomly running into one. From a moral perspective, would you like to be brought into someone’s sexual scene without your knowledge and consent? Especially if it is something disagreeable to you?
If you can, visit a nearby GLBT community center, school LGBT club or something along those lines. There are tons of online places too. Chances are you’ll find others to connect with. If not with similar interests, then at least you’re with relatively safe people who accept where you are coming from. A LGBT & kink affirming therapist is a great idea for helping you learn to direct your sensuality in a safe and sane manner. And meditation helps!!!!
In the long term, perhaps connecting with a straight crossdressing organization (e.g. Tri-Ess), or a Drag Family / House, ‘Ball Culture’ or similar will help you find your people. There are many choices out there now. Thank goodness for the internet! Ideally, you might even find mentor(s) for life advice, make up, dressing, passing, etc… Maybe even a safe venue to find compatible guys into you. Be patient, eventually you’ll find your place. And yes, you’ll likely make mistakes along the way. That’s part of becoming an adult.
XOXO
Stefanie
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