@michelle the book analogy is spot on. I agree with you @shelbyville the book was not all bad there were destined some great times but the ending is always the same. So why keep re reading it? Michelle I was really making movements until I sprained my ankle and now I’m in a bit of self pitying mood. But I’m going to keep going the desire to stop feeling like crap is over riding and have a relationship again is winning at the moment. Thank you for your advice if I feel crap I’ll definitely pop back on to ask again for a healthy dose of reality which you provide, if you don’t mind.

@shelbyville I agree with Michelle you are denying yourself a good influence at the very least in your life by pushing him away. If you didn’t feel anything you wouldn’t be trying to create distance so it sounds like fear. I know this because I was doing the exact same. This guy may just be what you need to create a new book? What I would say is if you feel no sexual chemistry between you at all and feel like you are using him then probably best to cut ties. I had to assess this myself as I was unsure if it was self sabatoge or just someone in my life filling a hole. But then I started to miss him on Christmas day, I missed his hugs and i got jealous at social media pics with girls so I knew for myself I did want more but was scared to get attached and have my heartbroken. I told him this straight and we are now taking it slower and he has stuck by me despite me pushing him away which shows his character. At least that’s how I see my rship with new guy and I’m setting goals to help me make a better person and when we take the next step I can offer something back to him. Like I said my mum has always said some of the best relationships start off as friendships.just my 2 cents as I feel our situations are similar. I must also say I get the physical connection but if you hold yourself back from giving yourself  to a relationship the other person will sense it and not want to be vulnerable in that way so the connection will not form. So maybe that’s why you’ve never had that connect again?