Dear RedMap:

“He has had a dark past which I know little about”- I suggest that you ask him about his past. If he learned from his dark past and will be using what he learned to make a better future for himself, then he will be able to tell you about his past, to share about it with you with relative comfort and confidence. (If he refuses to share with you, if he is very uncomfortable, that means that maybe he didn’t learn from his past and is likely to repeat it, or it means that he distrusts you, which means that this beginning relationship is lacking a fundamental value- trust).

“we are at the very bottom of enormous mountains to climb… the odds against us”- this means that the two of you need to work like an excellent team of two, so to climb those mountains and fight those odds. It means that the two of you need to work well together, to make each other stronger, to bring up the best in each other. Without a strong and effective team work on an ongoing basis, the two of you as a couple will.. stay at the very bottom of those enormous mountains, which is something neither one of you wants.

If you want to share more details about the relationship and this man (details that are not specific, such as names, dates, ages, and so forth), and/ or about your previous two relationships, and/ or about your relationships with the family members (parents?) who advised you against this beginning relationship, please do and I will be glad to reply to you further.

anita