Dear Felix:

I know you worry a whole lot about being rejected by women. But consider this: a woman whom you may want to be your wife is not likely to be a Judge, an objective judge who looks at you coldly and lists all the things that she doesn’t like about you, then takes a few minutes to deliberate and then makes the final judgement: no, Felix is not good enough for me. I better look elsewhere!

Way more likely, the woman is afraid of being rejected as well, she is not an objective Judge, she is as subjective as you are, worrying about the future, worrying about things, not comfortable about her own looks (even if she looks beautiful!).

Here is the problem: if you show a woman in your words and behavior that you yourself believe that you are not worthy of her or of any woman, if she sees that you believe this is true, then she will automatically believe it herself.

When I read your words in your various threads, I know that even though you don’t believe that you are of much value, that you still are valuable. But most people, and particularly younger people, when they see someone with a very, very low self esteem, they figure the person really is of no value.

So you have to watch what you say and how you behave around women so to not express to her this message. Is this making sense to you?

anita