Dear Lily:

Having “more self compassion now” is a great progress. Keep at having more and more self compassion.

“I know better what I want and pay more attention to my own feelings”- significant progress.

Try to accept the reality that your interview of your friend got only partly recorded and that your cooking didn’t turn out as well as you hoped. You did interview her and you did cook for her- give yourself credit for these two things. Accept what happened and make mental notes so to prevent problems in the future (do what it takes to record as planned and follow a recipe you are experienced with next time), and let it go, best you can.

Regarding your voice, being child-like, it’s okay to have a child like voice- the words you use, the compassion in your voice, for the person you are interviewing, is more important.

Stuttering is okay too. Remember Self Compassion.

When our anxiety is elevated, we have trouble concentrating, and we worry, second guessing ourselves, it is all part of elevated anxiety. And indeed, it will “take some more time to become more comfortable with (yourself)”.

As for your planned career (“So where do I find a mentor?”), choose a mentor who is successful at the career that you are planning on having. Aim at one of your professors to evaluate your work/ mentor you, if you are planning to be a professor yourself.

Whatever it is that you are planning on doing for money, ask for the opinion and mentorship of a person who is already successful making money in the specific career you are aiming at.

“Best to take it step by step”-  I agree.

Regarding confidence vs talent- work on both: improving the quality of your work and as you do, elevate your confidence (you can record your voice, practice a more confident voice, record again and improve/ record again).

One thing I notice is that you often add “I think” following stating something you believe in: no need to add “I think” because it weakens your statement. Clearly all that you say or type is what you think, so just state what you believe without qualifying that this is what you think.

“I feel that there is a lot I need to work on. And I get a little overwhelmed”- remember what you stated in your most recent post: “Best take it step by step”. And persist:  do not give up. Keep going and going and going, forward.

anita