Hey @kkasxo,

Im so sorry you’re feeling this way. But remember the work we must always do (though exhausting)……this too shall pass. No feeling is permanent, everything is transient. Someone messaged me yesterday after hearing the tragic news about the tv personality who had died – she said to me ‘she musnt have understood that no matter how horrific things are…..that feeling would one day pass. Remember how you felt you couldn’t go on Shelby & each hour was a struggle but you made it through”. We have to believe we are more than how we feel now. We have to see our lives as becoming more….else what’s the point?

Honestly, I feel you are my spirit animal right now! I’ve just come out of the work project I took on for the past six weeks & the mental drain was unreal. It was sooooo demanding, so I feel you!

The flashbacks must be frightening & create such uncertainty. Could you consider the possibility of seeing an expert in that field to try and help you process or manage it? I just don’t feel you should be left to fend by yourself like that.

I’m the same as you also in terms of direction. I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing. I’ve thought about various options but none seem to really attract my interest, passion or desire. I often hope for an epiphany and it doesn’t come so then I try to create circumstances to bring a light bulb moment, but nothing.

Who are we, you and I, at our core? Are we any much further down the road than when we ‘met’ 18 months ago? In some ways…..so much…..in other ways, exactly the same. Thats just my musing though, I could be wrong but it’s how I feel.

I started this thread broken and sad and missing my ex. Today, I am broken and sad and missing my ex. I know it can be much more than that. I am still going to therapy, trying to do the work, trying to figure it out, but so far, not much has changed. But I know I’m tired. I’m choosing things – new jobs, new locations, new friends, even a new romance & still. Here I am. I’m tired & I’m tired of being tired.

On the job front, I start a part time job at a makeup counter in the next few weeks. While I’ve established I’m not passionate about sales, to say the least, it’s a good opportunity to work with a brand I admire & they give great experience & training. So I’ll give it a shot! Other bits and pieces of work opportunities are coming my way too, but again, I’m not sure if I’m that keen. I just don’t know.

I don’t know what will make me happy. Well done to the folk who have it figured out but it’s hard for me. I’m guessing you too @kkasxo? Are you still getting along with Mr.A?