For a more organized format:

I’m not sure if it’s intense anxiety or trauma that’s causing this but lately I’ve been feeling :

brain haze that makes it hard to focus on things

Heart’s racing and chest pain (could be from binding long hours and tightly due to dysphoria)

Feeling shaky when I’m walking and doing things

Throat aches and voice sounds strained, crackling or high-pitched or sometimes it’s low

Shortness of breath especially after walking a few distances

Feeling tired and lacking energy, but having trouble sleeping because I toss and turn and sometimes wake up shaking and then fall asleep (only happens once) or sometimes I’ll cry in my sleep

Mostly at night in the dark (I like to shower in the dark because of dysphoria), I will see spots of light in my vision (I’m nearsighted meaning I see near things clearly but far things appear more blurred). Sometimes I’ll see shadows in the darkness and sometimes my heart will race because I think that the shadows might come for me even though I know they aren’t real I still shake.

Sometimes before waking up and my vision is still half asleep I’ll see a shadow spider walk across the ceiling and it’ll startle me to full waking and I realize it’s not real and then I will lay in bed looking at the ceiling to calm my racing heart.

There’s a thing called hypnagogic hallucinations where a person’s brain will make out patterns in the darkness when they are just falling asleep or waking up because their minds are not aware and they are just seeing patterns of things that they fear because it is a way for the brain to tell the person to be more alert because it is dark outside and the eyes cannot see as well. Hypnagogic hallucinations may startle a person but after the person has full awareness they know it’s not real and even though they may feel apprehensive when they are experiencing it, some part of their logical mind is there and that’s why they are able to relax their minds and realize that it is not real. They happen when a person is under lots of stress. So I think that maybe the shadows I’ve been seeing are due to hypnagogia because I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and I only see them when it’s dark.

I have also been breaking out in acne because of stress and I recently healed from an ear infection due to stress.

Sometimes I will hear voices in my mind which are memories that I get lost in of my parents yelling at me because of my stress and they think that I have nothing to be anxious about, but my gender dysphoria gives me a lot of stress especially since they don’t accept my gender identity.

I felt like I had to get my feelings out because I tend to hold them back and then I feel numb and lost.