She overwhelmed me by saying I did a half ass job, a criticism I’ve heard before.

I can’t think about it anymore. I’m considering cutting off contact from my family if I ever leave and save enough money. I’m still nervous sometimes that they’ll see this knowing how the internet is, but knowing their personalities and my own personality, it’s unlikely.

The reason I said that she’s been a different person for a long time is because of my stepdad. She curses more often. She complains a lot more than usual. Honestly, she just drains my energy. I’ve even considered leaving the house without anyone knowing to get away from conflict. I’m not good with it and I never will be. I can mediate between two people, but that’s it.

That would mean eating breakfast earlier, taking a shower earlier without no one wanting me to help cook or clean. I’m authentically done. She was unhappy with my father too, but at least she wasn’t cynical about life. At least I’m still saving money to continue going to therapy in the future. I have to remember that I’m not a teenager anymore. None of this is my fault.