Dear Lily:

You are welcome. Your thinking is reasonable and balanced: you understand that you do have some social skills (I can talk well to people, be understanding and empathetic”) and that you have work to do so to continue to develop a few of your social skills (“not trying to please others, paying attention to my own feelings and needs, not avoiding conflict”).

I am glad you are getting along well with your roommates., “everyone does their share and we are getting to know each other slowly”- excellent, and I like the slowly part.

“My biggest fear.. is that people will misunderstand me.. accuse me of something”- it they have good social skills they will verify their assumptions before accusing you of anything. If you notice some dissatisfaction on the face or in the voice of a co-worker (or roommate), say to that person: you look upset, is there anything going on, anything you want to talk to me about? If they answer and refer to something you did or said that they feel badly about, then let them know where they misunderstood you.( If they tell you about something someone else said of did that bothers them- not your responsibility to resolve, so express some empathy or ask the person a simple question that may bring them clarity).

“Why not go directly to B first?”, you asked regarding A- because A is scared of confronting B, so she goes behind her back, feeling safer this way, I am guessing.

Staying at home because of the pandemic, will give you the opportunity to get closer to finish your degree, and that’s positive. Saving money and improving budgeting is always a good idea, especially at this time. Working as a seasonal worker in a farm will keep you in good physical shape, and that’s a positive too, plus, in a farm, it is not required that you keep the social distancing with the farm animals (just as my friend Hunter the beagle and I don’t keep social distancing when he visits daily)- this is my attempt at infusing some humor into a somber situation.

Journaling, drawing and keeping a daily routine, going for a daily walk, (and maybe doing yoga, continuing to learn about edible herbs) is a good plan.

“am I being too optimistic?? Does it sound reasonable?”- you don’t read to me as too optimistic, but refreshingly optimistic and I appreciate it! You sound reasonable as well, which is something I noticed before I read your question and pointed to it in the beginning of my post to you.

I am fine. I continue to go on my long daily walk, there is no reason to not go on my walk or spend time outside because there are no people around (I live outside of town, few neighbors and they don’t walk outside, other than a couple of women who walks her dog, but social distancing is kept). Thank you for inquiring and take good care of yourself as well. Post again anytime you need encouragement to continue the excellent progress you are making!

anita