Hey Genie. First up, don’t ever apologise for your rants – that’s exactly what this forum is here for – a safe place to dump out everything that’s worrying you.  I also think it’s just useful to get a different perspective on it, especially when you know you are prone to anxiety.  Some people would have got angry or defensive at my response so kudos to you for understanding how it was meant – see, you are tougher than you know and think 😉

Yeah, your ex may well likely be sniffing around to see what’s possible, after all, that was your pattern. But what’s really important here is that you have changed. You know he’s no good for you and the relationship isn’t going to give you what you want long-term.  You are starting to investigate truly what’s possible with Jay. I suspect your ex will be surprised when you (hopefully!) turn down any ‘kind’ offers of  another short-term buzz of your physical connection and some company – you already know how that will play out and I hope you choose better for yourself 🙂

Re Jay and the parents, clearly your decision as always but perhaps try and think it through without letting fear win and drive your anxieties. It’s not that long ago you were writing on here about falling in love with him and wanting to try a relationship with him. Meeting the parents simply means as much or as little as you and Jay want it to mean. It would be a good way of showing him you are trying to be closer, which is what you do want? Otherwise can I suggest you explain it well to him just so he understands and doesn’t feel like it’s you pushing him away again, simply because of your fear.

Take care all.

PS Flights still on as of now & I only checked twice yesterday, see, we’re all very human 😉