Dear Alejandra:

I am not clear if your goal is still to send him a letter? I don’t remember if the idea is that I comment on the letter (?), but here are my comments nonetheless

1. “You put me through so much sh**.. but I only have myself to blame for that as I  let you. I should’ve known when to walk away “-

– no, he is to blame for what he did wrong. People are blamed (and found guilty in a court of law) for wrongdoings against others, even if the others let them.  For example, a woman lets a man into her house and he kills her. Is she to blame for being murdered because she let him in?!  The recipient of a wrongdoing is not guilty of the wrongdoing; the doer is. If a person is verbally abusing you, you are not guilty for the abuse because you didn’t walking away. (It would be wise to walk away, but it doesn’t make you guilty for verbal abuse).

2. “I’ve never felt that before.. the feeling of ‘I’m doing what I  meant to be doing with someone else'”- this is so genuine, the real thing, precious, and it is his loss for losing the person who felt this way with him!

“I never brought up how it felt… try with you anymore”- not a clear sentence. I am sure that you know what you mean in it, but it is not clear to me.

“you were so refreshing and you just wow, you would lighten up my moods, my days…”- beautiful, touching.

“I should’ve listened to the red flags”-“red flags” is an overused term, and one that people resist/ not take in. Better list the problematic behaviors on his part instead of using the term.

I read the rest, but I’ll pause at this point, because I need to know if you are you planning to put together a message to send him, at this point, if so, for what purpose, and what kind of feedback, if any,  would  you like from me?

anita