Nico, I’ve read all these posts and a bit of time has passed during which you have had time to absorb the above advice, all I would add to this is that while you are still seeing this man as friends, you say in your own words it makes you feel like your heart is shredded. I believe the most beneficial action would be to cut off contact with him for a couple of months, to give yourself time to know yourself without him in your life and to hopefully ‘get over him’. If he truely cares for you as a friend then he will understand and respect your decision. You may find that with no contact you will have the time and space to think about what you really want and to re-discover your true worth. It will probably be hard at first, but given time to heal properly there is no reason why in 6 months-a year you couldnt be friends without you harbouring these feelings of hurt which you cant express to him.

Stay strong, believe in yourself, stay true to your values and you’ll be just fine! 🙂