I don’t think you should wonder about what he is thinking about and etc.
I’m guilty of doing this myself, so I know what Im talking about and how harmfull that is- when a guy whom I was very much into just fell from the Earth after 3 months of daily communication and getting physical, I couldn’t stop sobbing if he ever cared, why did he do that, why didn’t he have cajones to tell me straight away he wasn’t interested anymore and etc.etc. (maybe it wouldn’t have struck me that hard, but it was 3rd guy in a row doing that, so I fell into a long term mode of sadness and dissapointment and didn’t know how to move forward).
Well all that thinking about what was he thinking / what were his motives didn’t actually help me – it just kept me stuck in the phase of denial of reality that he is gone and that I most likely overestimated him and his interest. There is no such explanation that would make his dissapearing less hurtfull or make his behaviour “better”.
In your case – there is no such explanation that would make your sufferings “count” and justify him treating you in a “less than” manner.
The best advice I ever got when in that situation was “think less about him, and more about yourself”.
Whereas your life and thoughts now evolve around a man who just goes his way, like Bob said, with no attention to you. He is not worthy of your love and care.
Hopefully this site doesn’t ban forum members from suggesting other sites – if not, I suggest you read an amazing blog, called baggagereclaim.co.uk. Believe me, after that your “wonderful” bf will look just a frog instead of a mysterious prince.