Dear Lisa:

In your original post you wrote that your “bestfriend/mom died” and I wasn’t clear- I thought that you meant that your best friend’s mother died, not your own. But it is your mother who died when you were eleven. It is a terrible experience for a child to lose her mother.

Regarding the guy, it’s not that I think that you shouldn’t get back with him. Instead I think that you shouldn’t get back with him and then break up with him, then get back together etc. It’s bad for him and it makes you feel guilty, so better not.

He told you that “he doesn’t care anymore because he knows I’m just gonna get over it anyways”- if he is relaxing into your behavior, maybe you can too, relax, that is.

“I know you say the feeling passes… which is true, it does. But should it be there SO often? & with no reason”?- good point, Lisa. When a feeling returns so often and so intensely it is often because that feeling is from long ago, from the early years of one’s life. And when that’s the case, there is a need to look at where that feeling is coming from.

If you feel comfortable, will you tell me about your mother’s death, how you felt then, how you feel now? I will not be able to read your answer before 12 hours from now. So if you choose to answer me, please take your time, don’t rush.

anita

* Sydney: like Lisa suggested (and I will elaborate): click FORUMS at the top, then scroll down to Relationships, click Relationships, scroll all the way down to the empty box for the title of your new thread, and the bigger box for the body of your new thread. Hope to read your thread soon.

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