Thank you @adelaide and @michelle for being my cheerleaders. I feel so proud too to have come a long way. I will post on @shelbyville thread too maybe one day she will read it. It’s been a journey back in dec I was ready to end it all. This thread kept me going. Anxiety is part of me , being with someone who understands me accepts the most ugly part of me has made me stronger… it’s made me accept it too. You are right its about changing the way you react or behave rather than reinventing yourself. It’s all about the right framing and adjusting your mirrors to see a better reflection of yourself . That’s how Jay puts it. He said it’s all there the confidence, the beauty, the real me and it’s all awesome..he said I just needed to adjust the mirror like you do in the car so I could see it too. He is just my angel. I can’t wait. I’m excited.

Just another update but my ex contacted me again. Saying he missed me. I read it and deleted without replying. I did love that man so hard, I spent 5 years loving him hard and there were some magical moments but I don’t want it anymore. I’ve moved on and really believe theres more I deserve. This shows my confidence has really improved before I used to cry I’ll never find it again. But the on and off again was draining and to have a steady slow simmering relationship beats that. I do feel like I’ve fallen for Jay but I am going to keep it slow and steady because it’s healthy and its keeping my anxiety more calmer. No toxicity. Wow it was so empowering to not be sucked back into the vortex of my ex. Ok enough about men. I’m going HOMEeeee! Stay Alert? Lol.

I’ll try come on once I’m settled. But keep posting xx

Love lots Xx