Dear Jason:

“At what point do red flags outweigh the green flags?”- for me, that point has already passed.

“Could you perhaps elaborate a bit more about what you think are half truths and half lies here? And what would be her motivation to do so?”-

When a person gives you a mix of truths, half truths and lies, there is no point in trying to figure out which is which. One way to figure it out would be to hire a private detective to do the difficult work of investigating so to find out the truth and expose the lies. As I read your original post I could tell some of what she said was not true but I didn’t bother to try and figure it out because it is hard work and there is no benefit for me in doing that hard work.

Her motivation: she enjoys talking to you and telling you stories. It makes her feel good. The motivation: to feel good.

One more thing: neither she nor her boyfriend are healthy people. Most of the time, it is not one partner that is the sole abuser: both abuse each other. It is common for the woman to complain a lot about her boyfriend while she is way more abusive to him than he is to her.

Talking about motivations: what is your motivation in listening to her and being her friend?

anita

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