Dear Michelle:

My advice is to find the middle ground between being “so vulnerable and open with her” and “shutting down and being short with her”- share in a limited way, not all the way, match the way she shares with you. Maybe over time she will share more, and then you will too. Maybe over time she will share just the same, or less, and then you can share less or not at all.

Demanding a person to share more when they don’t feel like it is unrealistic. Expressing anger at them for not sharing more has the opposite effect.

Remind yourself that you always have the option- before certain commitments are made- to not have her in your life at all, so if it becomes too distressing for you to have her in your life.. you don’t have to.

anita