Hi Anita. Thank you for your 2nd input.

I actually felt much better today and was therefore able to reply regarding your 1st input. I felt more at ease and confident after reading your 2nd input. I thank you sincerely.

You’re right. Despite all the plans of future meet ups and getting to know more about each other, she is but like a child in a way and my vision of a happy future with her is slowly fading. I do regret a little about sending her that letter since the content kinda makes me worship her in a way but I’m also glad at the same time because I guess it brings out her arrogant side, thinking she’s irreplaceable. Funny enough though, I think all her exes knows her address and she always received gifts from them (recently she just received one from one of them) despite them already married, not sure which ones though. Perhaps that screwed her thinking that she’s highly sought after. I did want to send her a pair of earphones during our early relationship, but she wanted to receive it personally when we finally met, never giving me her address. Maybe her exes were all local?

I decided not to contact her anymore and will delete her number in a week. The amount of her disrespect to me is pretty heinous. I will still receive her calls though but I will only wanna hear her making the relationship works at whatever the cost. Otherwise, I’ll just move on and act as if she’s dead. Love is about equal balance. As long as she still has feelings for me, many things still can be discussed. I still believe she’s not trying to lead me on, but just that she got a lot of growing up to do despite her age. Speaking of hypocrisy, she did once say she appreciates every single things in life, but somehow her actions towards me suggests otherwise, lol. And these are the words coming from a cancer survivor.

Yet, at the same time, I can’t blame her but pity her. She’s of a broken home background (husband cheated), raised by her mum, taught to stand up for herself without needing any men. So when she herself divorced (husband cheated) and 3 failed relationship after that (one of them gave empty promise), seems to have fried her brain. I’ve pretty much done all I can to show my sincerity, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. I’m attracted to her because she has qualities like my mum but also, not like my mum, if that makes sense? Hardworking, eating healthy, good conversationalist, informative, physically good looking, non-religious, independent. That’s what makes me see myself with her in the future, working together. I don’t really care if she smokes, throw a bit of tantrum, seeking for love assurances all the time. Just that her sudden indifference can be a real pain. Perhaps it’s just a test of finding partner that’s true to her but I don’t think that’s the right way.
I’m fine now, just feeling a little pain every morning when I wake up. Looking back, I only regret being emotional (I am also ashamed of this forum title lol, blaming my parents smh). My father meant well, but in my view he’s wrong about everything in his relationship advice. I still won’t let them decide who I should marry but I’m definitely more wiser after this experience and won’t settle for lesser quality women now that I know her. The only problem is her qualities are near impossible to find. Not with the kind of life I’m leading now, all work and almost no social life, is of no help (corona is making it worse). I’m refocusing on myself again and keeping my options open with her and other woman.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by Evokun.