1. I feel that my father supresses emotions within himself so that he does not have to be vunerable (ever) so the abuse im talking about is supressing and denying emotions in himself which makes it hell for everyone around him to get close or whenever you are close it makes one either have to tolerate to play into his illusion of no emotion and everything is fine or being oneself which feels like one has to naturally express irritation and distance towards him which he would probobly interprets as something which has nothing to do with him.

2. The irritation i mentioned was nothing i expressed more the general mood around him. I naturally felt supressed, irritated and angry so i talked about school in a distancing and irritated tone even though the school subject was positive.