Dear Tania:

“Sometimes I still remember when he chat with her.. it’s feel so hurt.. why he give attention to that woman.. I still struggle to forget about it”- I think that I know that particular hurt you mentioned because I felt it many times long ago, it was a kind of persistent pain that keeps hurting, trying to get your attention so that you will make it feel better, an urgent kind of hurt, or pain.

What I had to do, and did, was to feel it without saying or doing anything to relieve it, for example, I had to not ask a man questions, to not look at his computer, to not check on him, etc. I had to tolerate the pain without reacting to it. Over time the pain lessened and lessened and now, what bothered me so much before, doesn’t bother me at all. I didn’t know it at the time, that it is possible to no longer be bothered by what bothered me so intensely before. But.. I found out that it is possible. Therefore, I believe it is possible  for you too.

anita