Hi Dave… I could not believe my eyes when I read your post. This exact same thing happened to me 4 months ago (except I am a woman and his name( ironically enough) is Dave!! After 7 months of intense communication every day and much investment emotionally on both sides.. he ended it really abruptly and with such coldness I was rendered speechless. And like yourself.. I emailed him sporadically to say what I should have said the night he did it.. but to no avail.. he closed down… and wanted absolutely no more communication with me. Like you I felt (and still do but not as intensely) utterly shattered. It felt like I had been in a car crash and left for dead.
Anyway. Forgiveness and letting it all go became my quest and I so absolutely understand where you are right now.
What has helped me enormously Dave has been the Work of Byron Katie. I am not sure if you have heard of it but I urge you, if you haven’t, to look it up. She has a website and has written an amazing book called Loving What Is. Her method is based on 4 questions which she urges you to answer but in writing it down. It truly works Dave. Please try it. It has helped me to actually even love him without anger and bitterness which was eating me up for so long. Of course I have bad days and I still wonder ‘why’ from time to time but I also know now that it won’t change a thing. All I can change is how I look at this and that is what makes the difference. I really hope you try it out and maybe even let me know how it goes for you.
Best wishes
Anni