Ahlive,

Thank you SO much for this reply. I’m sorry your experience was so difficult and that you have to go back to your home country now. What graduate program were you on?

I’ll try my best to follow a wellness routine. I know it’s very necessary and I have to rebuild some good habits I lost due to my ED recovery and such. Thing is, when I was abroad for 6 weeks I also suffered. I’ve been away on my own twice. The first time was disastrous and the second, not so much. I was completely alone, but I was so happy at times. I had these emotional highs I’ve seldom experienced in my life. And I went there when I was amidst my depression, having left uni because my eating disorder was out of control… I’m doing much better now. If I do leave this city, I’ll go with my long-term partner, whom I love very much, so hopefully I won’t feel as lonely as I would if I went by myself.

I have thought about the things I’ll miss from here. My cats. My comfy bed. The spaciousness of my home. The fact that I know everyone at my supermarket, as well as the neighbours who recognize me every now and then. But I think I’m ready to take the leap. I’ve been an undergrad for so, so long that I’ve grown tired of living here. I try to not daydream about going abroad and be realistic, just like you say I should, and even when I don’t daydream I think it’ll be a 10 times better there than it is here. I don’t know if I’ll be able to endure a break up, though! Not even if I stay here 😛

Again, thank you so much for replying. It was a well thought answer. I hope we can keep in touch! <3