Dear Lea/ vivi:

(which name should I use to address you?)

Reads like an idyllic childhood indeed, I can imagine it, your mom being really loving, dancing and cuddling with you,  your dad teaching you cooking.. your sister, grandparents, all living in the countryside.

I am guessing then that you bonded with and trusted your mom, your dad, your sister and grandparents, and that you showed your emotions with them.

When/how did all that change: when did you stop  bonding and trusting people, and showing your emotions with them (“I don’t really feel like I’m bonding with them (plus I’m very hesitant to trust people and show my emotions”)?

anita