Dear KayCee:

You asked me what I meant by my last message to you 18 days ago. I will elaborate on that message:

Here is what you shared about this man’s genital area since May 4, repeatedly and into a second page of your thread:

“he was naked… I saw him naked… I saw how he looks like naked… how he keeps himself (his hair ‘there’).. how he chooses to shave that area…how his privates look like and how he keeps his hair ‘there’… I don’t want to remember how he looks like naked… how he shaves his private area.. I know some men choose to groom that area just as females do… my ex did also..  how he keeps his hair not the fact that he chooses to shave some.. not all.. of his hair down there… I need to also respect his feelings that he lost his privacy and knowing how he  keeps his hair there is as personal as it gets.”-

You posted in a public forum the words: “there”, “that area”, “privates”, “down there”, “private area”. People reading these words and your descriptions of his genitals area are able to bring up images in their brains, and actually see what you are referring to. It is similar to a person reading a pornographic article or novel: reading naked body/ sexual words and descriptions bring up images to the reader’s brain and those images sexually arouse the reader.

With your words regarding this  man’s genitals area, you pointed a figurative camera to his genitals, and you did it in a public forum where a lot  of people may be reading your words. Some of the people reading will get sexually aroused to some extent as a result. Some people will think that your motivation was to arouse them, and/  or to arouse yourself, and be offended.

For the purpose of your thread, which is to get advice regarding mending what you referred to as a platonic frienship, there is no advantage for potential advice givers to know anything about his genitals area. To know that he shaved some of his pubic hair but not all of his pubic hair, and to know that an ex boyfriend of yours shaved his pubic hair, is of no use in figuring out how you can mend a friendship. Because of the irrelevance of these details, the suspicion that you have a sexual motive in sharing these details is understandable.

I don’t know if you have a sexual motivation in pointing the camera to his “down there”. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t.

It is possible that you don’t have a sexual  motivation, you wrote: “I guess it’s my ocd. The topic as you say may sound sexual in nature but the entire incident wasn’t sexual at all, nor my thoughts or even his comment. I might’ve made you think that but it’s not”. (I asked you to elaborate on your OCD, but you wrote “Don’t want to get further into that”)-

– it is possible that you have been obsessiong about his genitals area not because it arouses you, or that you want to arouse the readers, but because you suffer from OCD.

Let’s say the culprit is OCD-  it doesn’t change the fact that practically, some readers on a public forum will still be aroused, and some readers will be angry and offended because this is not a pornographic forum, and people don’t want images of genitals areas brought into their brains while they are trying to help the original poster with her (non-sexual) friendship.

I hope I made things more clear for you.

anita