So we spoke again last night.

We talked about our situation in more depth. We talked for 2 1/2 hours. I had already accepted that the virus has ruined our plans as he would be here today.  However, the talk made me feel more accepting of the fact that we are both in a situation outside of our control. We both agreed that it seems impossible for us to ever be together the way we wanted to be. We have already been apart for 8 months and are human and require physical love and affection. He has been suffering coming to terms with this reality for the last few weeks so he has thought about it more.

America with everything the way it currently is just seems to be off the table now.

He will still try to go to Canada but again we can not wait out for that because of the Pandemic it will be 20-26 months of waiting. That seems unreasonable.

Also there is no guarantee he will get into Canada either. As an American it’s easier for me to go an stay there on a work visa as I am qualified for jobs there and there is a pact between the US and Canada that makes it very easy to do so. Not easy to become a resident or citizen but very easy to stay and work. He must go through an entire process where there is no guarantee.

I am suffering and I am depressed from more than just this I was having a very hard time. So I asked him if it made sense to keep in touch until the light at the end of the covid tunnel. To just talk as we did before and be there for each other. However, we should consider ourselves open to date and move on as it is so long from now and there are no guarantees. we should treat it as the relationship is over but be there for each other. Neither of us has a desire to date right now but we both expect that we will meet someone new in such a long time frame.

We had agreed that if we were single and still enjoyed each other we would be open to reuniting in Canada whenever that might be. But we should not hold onto hope for it because everything just seems to be working against us and it’s just such a very long time to wait.

I brought up keeping in touch. He accepted right away and seemed more anxious than me to fall back into our old ways sending me messages immediately after and while I slept.

Is this incredibly unhealthy and preventing me from accepting that I most likely need to let go of this person?

I don’t know if this is the right thing to do. I know that if I cut him off then it is history. I know that if I keep him here the door is still open even if only slightly. I cherish him as a person either way.