Hello Gemsandrubies,

How awful for you that you have lost both your best friend and your fiance to each other, and so close to your split.  It sounds to me that you are really so much better off without them and that neither of them deserved you.  I agree wholeheartedly with Marie and MochaB.  Your physical sensation of grief and feeling that you can hardly breathe suggests that this has impacted on your chest/heart area so make sure that you intentionally send love to this area.  Reclaim that which you have given to others and give it to yourself instead.  When you have filled your heart with self love, let it flow to every other area of your body.

You say that this loss is triggering past traumas.  Let those traumas come up and then release them.  I know this is a painful process but it will serve you well in the long run.  The emotion you attached to the events is the part that causes the problem.  Taking some time to examine them, releasing the emotions that come up, forgiving anyone that you need to forgive including yourself where appropriate will go a long way towards healing yourself.

You will come through this.  Stay strong and let your light shine.

Best wishes

Peggy