Hi Katie

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Or can anyone perhaps offer some insight into his thought process? I really have no idea how to proceed with this.

I spent some time in the military and observed similar situations quite a bit. It was mostly a man thing though I’ve seen woman abuse or confuse love in this way as well.

Based on my observations the probably of such situations ending out happy ever after are rare. The worst cases going on for years.

For practical advice on your relationships Anita will help you through. My thoughts would be more general on the notion of relationship and love. Many people use those words without really knowing/owning what they want or expect from a experience of love and relationship. As such relationships become a crucible in which we have the opportunity to discover ourselves, examine our fears and perhaps why we hold on what we hold on to.

Tied up into the experience of Love will be experiences of meaning, purpose, accountability, responsibility – being seen. Reading through just a few threads on this site and you will realized how desperately we might cling to the experiences of meaning and purpose while avoiding how the notions of accountability, responsibility, commitment, discipline play in those experiences.  If you didn’t get to be responsible  or accountable for your actions, words, who you are meaning and purpose could not be experience which would most certainly impact our experience of love.

Questions you might ask yourself.

Does your Ex see you? Do you see him? Are you holding each other accountable? (accountability isn’t about blaming or punishing but being honest with each other, show each other that what they do and who that are matters .)
What about the experience with your Ex are you holding on to? Have you projected a missing part of yourself onto your Ex? If so is it possible that you are mistaken and that what you felt he gave you was always yours and within you?

What are your expectations when it comes to Relationships and Love? Do you feel you deserve less or more?