@kkasxo, so good to hear from you. Yeah things seem to be pretty crap for both of us right now I guess. I don’t feel I’m in a great place, really upset and anxious. How have you been coping? Are you still working? Are we back to the watching Netflix survival technique again?!!!

Adelaide, thanks so much for the advice. Yeah attachment styles can be useful frames of reference. I’m definitely anxious, potentially anxious-avoidant. I really thought he was secure initially, but then felt he was more anxious. At the moment – avoidant, so honestly I don’t know what he is.
Trust me I know what it’s like to find dating difficult to navigate. When we feel the need for reassurance and a little more certainty. Maybe when not to heavily invested in someone to start, you could try practising moments of discomfort with less contact than you like? I feel that’s something I need to practice too. Not everyone has the same way of communicating in a relationship I guess.

Sammy,

I’m definitely hurt, though that was not his intention this eve. He got pretty crap job news which has thrown him and created uncertainty for him so he’s been in poor form this evening & less than super communicative.
I tried to explain (via text as he didn’t pick up when I called) that I’m upset & hurting a bit & not sure what’s going on. He said he’s sorry I feel crap but he has a lot on his mind & doesn’t feel like getting in to it & just wants to watch tv & not think or talk about it. I explained that I am here to listen and support from someone who cares can really help a crappy day but he said he didn’t have the energy to get in to heavy stuff tonight.

I told him I missed him and care about him and asked if he could see it from my perspective, and that I’m there to listen at any time & im not sure why he’s shutting me out. He said he’s not shutting me about but that some people like ‘quiet time’ and that if I were there he’d give me a cuddle but that he’s done talking and thinking tonight. He said he’s sorry that I’m feeling crap. I had previously suggested in the previous message meeting up tomorrow eve after I travel home after work but he said he’d rather spend tomorrow night alone.
I said I had been looking forward to seeing him and giving him cuddles. I said that I was sorry he didn’t feel the same. I added that I’d give him a call on my journey home tomorrow with a little x at the end. He didn’t reply.

Nothing points to this working. Nothing. I’m aware. And yet it makes me so sad to think of it not working out. I get this ache in my tummy when I imagine him not with me & going off and meeting someone else. I try not to dwell on that too much. My friend has tried to explain that some people deal with things differently and that men in particular, can deal with things without talking & that he was having a crap day & didn’t want to get in to a big heavy thing with me too on top of all that.

Im gonna have to manage my upset through Friday and try to make it to sat & pray that he’ll accept to meet me cos I can’t let this go on any longer without sorting it out one way or another. I’m dreading this….please be on standby Tiny Buddha family as I have a feeling I may need ye badly.

While you can’t leave the house, is there a new routine you can stick to in the house? One that would keep you on track like the runs did. My sister used to give me a notebook to write in times. Like a school class schedule to stick to to get me through from one end of the day to the next. It really helped, like she would allocate ten mins to getting dressed and brushing hair etc. Half hour meditation, half hour journaling. One hour baking etc etc and it was those baby steps that ultimately helped me get to the days when I no longer needed the list. X