Danny,

I’m excited for you and the man you have become and the relationship you can potentially have. Take your time and really grow and get to know each other for who you are now and I wish you all the best with the exciting early days fluttery feelings – they are so much fun! I have no doubt you will really put all you can in to this relationship and give it the absolute best shot of a long term future!

Thank you for the offer of advice, but to be honest, I’m trying not think about everything too much as if I really get in to it, it gets overwhelming again. I hasten to add that I adore my boyfriend now – it’s just weird to say the word because this thread will demonstrate that I thought the likelihood of me every having a boyfriend again was practically zero! It’s not my family not approving of my boyfriend, nothing like that. It’s just the transition. Change scares most people and they have had me at their disposal and there for them all for a long number of years and I suppose I filled a certain role for them and now that I’m seeking a life outside of that, making more time for my own happiness instead of always putting others before me, it’s irksome and the word ‘selfish’ has been thrown around a bit.

I get it. I understand where it’s coming from. I understand what’s happening here with boundaries and moving away from the enmeshment in my family, but that understanding doesn’t make it any easier to be ‘at odds’ with your sister, who was always your best friend. I’m trying to accept the situation for what it is now and not try to control others’ feelings about what’s happening. If they feel pissed off, I have to let them feel pissed off, as uncomfortable and sad as it may be.

Anyway, best of luck on your new journey with ‘B’- I wish you nothing but happiness.