Dear Tati:

His long distance relationship with his last girlfriend was not all that long-distance then, if he worked as a flight attendant on an airline that serves only Europe, and Europe is small- maybe  they got together in-person every week.

Wikipedia has an entry called List of airlines of Europe, including the list of all airlines based in each and every country in Europe. If he told you which airline he worked for, in which country it is based- this entry may help you verify what he told you. For example, Easy Jet Europe Airline is a European low-cost airline that is based in Vienna, Austria, and operates scheduled flights across Europe. Its first flight was on July 20, 2017. Let’s say the guy told you that this is the airline where he worked in 2015. You can then verify in other online sources what you read in Wikipedia, and if the information is verified, you will know that there is a discrepancy between what he told you and what you found online.

I imagine you were quite hurt and disturbed when you found out that a guy you dated in Miami, a local guy, had a situationship, a girlfriend and a child you didn’t know about.

I understand your reasoning that meeting a man who lives across the world may develop into a relationship if the two meet in person and at least one of the people is willing to move. I didn’t consider this because in your original post you wrote: “I don’t think any of us would be willing to move”.

What can help you figure out the chances of him being willing to move to your country later, is what are his  investments where he lives: if he has a stable job there that cannot be transferred to a working-from-home situation, if he has close ties with his family there, etc., then he is not likely to move. On the other hand, if he lives alone, if works from home, if he does not work, if has few or weak ties with family and friends there- then he is more likely to be motivated to move.

Asking him about his plans, short term and long term can help a lot in figuring out a possible future with him.

anita