Hi there Anita,

I’m seriously contemplating ending this relationship since I always feel alone after spending time with him. Is it normal for me to want him to know more about me? We just finished reading a chapter of a book he wrote and I spent most of the time telling him how wonderful it is. He says he loves that we are sharing “intellectual” time together. Sometimes it feels like an ego boost for him. I love knowing more about him this way however it’s not reciprocal. He only wants to read his book. He never asks me how I’m doing and when I offer information about myself to him, he seems uninterested or bored. I feel empty. The conversations always revolve around him. Am I being selfish? How do you tell if he’s just self-absorbed or just truly wants me to get to know him through his writing? What purpose does this serve? He’s no longer interested in me in any other way for the last while. I feel empty and if I bring anything up, I will feel it would only cause drama. He says he wants to come visit, but I wonder if he’s just stringing me along so he can have me read his book to him. The conversation ends with him happy and content but me feeling empty and feeling like I only serve a singular purpose. That I’m compartmentalized. He never calls me during the day. Only at night. He says just call me if you ever need to hear my voice. What’s that all about? He says he never asks because he doesn’t have to know anything about me right now, that we have the rest of our lives together to find out. Is he stringing me along? How do I approach this?

I was married to a man who was abusive and was emotionally unavailable. Is this just more of the same?

Any advice would be appreciated.