Dear Lisa:

I did not complete the second part today, and will continue tomorrow. Here is what I have for you today-

Second Part, My Understanding of Lisa:

1- A Very Rough Start in Life (a-e):

(a) Possible Exposure to Alcohol/ Drugs while In The Womb: it is possible that your very rough start in life happened in the womb. You mentioned that your teenage biological mother was believed to have used drugs in the late 1960s, and it so happens that you were an unplanned pregnancy in the late 1960s. Neither she nor your biological teenage father (whom you never met) were responsible teenagers, both have given you away after you were born (“My parents were teenagers when I was born. They were possibly involved in drugs and drinking of some kind in the late 60’s. They couldn’t take care of me.. they (your mother’s parents) thought she had substance abuse issues”, May 2, 2017).

Wikipedia: “Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD) are caused by a mother drinking alcohol during pregnancy… Central Nervous System damage is the primary feature of any FASD diagnosis”.

The drug most famously used in the late sixties was heroin, which is an opioid. One of the complications to the baby that result from a mother being dependent on an opioid is intra- amniotic infection aka Chorioamnionitis, which is an  inflammation of the fetal membranes. According to Wikipedia’s entry on the topic, “In the long term, infants may be more likely to experience cerebral palsy or neurodevelopmental disabilities, which seems to be related to the activation of the fetal inflammatory response syndrome (FIRS).. that can impair the fetal brain and other fetal organs.. There is also concern about the impact of FIRS on infant immunity as this is a critical time for growth and development. For instance, it may be linked to chronic inflammatory disorders, such as asthma”.

In your posts you mentioned that you often get physically sick, often not feeling well, and and you described severe symptoms of anxiety including bed wetting, ADHD and OCD as a child and onward- which could be a result of alcohol and/ or opioids introduced to your body before you were born.

(b) The Foster Home Experience: Shortly after you were born  your mother placed you “in a foster home in the next state over.. for 6 months after I was born”- what happened during those six months: were you held and touched often enough or were you left Alone, did you form an attachment to a particular person there, I don’t know.

(c) Possible Separation from Object of Attachment: At about six months, you were “found and brought back to my mother’s parents’ house and they began raising me as their child”- if you grew attached to anyone in the foster home, the separation from that person would have very much disturbed the infant that you were.

(d) Abuse & Aggression your Childhood Home and Bullying Outside the home: “I was abused briefly by an uncle and verbally abused by another… sometimes terrible fights among the siblings.. I would hide in my room when their fights broke out… I was bullied on school grounds… (later) “most of the bullying I endured were from neighborhood kids outside of school”.

(e) Unattended to and unsupported and Alone for Too Long: “(in childhood and onward:) I would have liked emotional support and have things explained to me. I feel I was left to figure it out on my own and I have learned nothing more than to just survive.. I always felt that people never thought I was worth the effort”, “(as a teenager and onward:) I have never had a relationship. I have always longed for one. Every day since I was a teen I have imagined being in relationships. I watched others have real ones while I pretended to… I didn’t go out. I had no friends… For the most part I spent time in the library and fantasizing about being someone else.. (with) connections to people”.

*You are welcome to respond to my last two posts here, if you want to. I am okay with you responding or not, and will be back to your thread Monday.

anita

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