@Sammy @Kkasxo you both doing ok?

@NBC

How interesting – I’m really surprised to read with regular proximity, all of your single male friends have never made a move on you.

Have you ever been curious enough to ask why?

You mentioned you are a serious monogamous type and already in love before the first date or feel nothing – I’m curious to know how that is possible if you’ve never been able to create something out of a friendship? Would you say it’s more infatuation rather than love?

I’ve mentioned before I fear your all or nothing mentality is detrimental in your relationships.

Looking for someone who meets your needs doesn’t necessarily mean you dump all your crap on them. Each one of us has ups and downs so it is comforting to have a person in your corner who is your anchor.

But it requires a fine balance, you have to give in return. If there’s a fair exchange then it will make your partner feel secure and attraction.

If you constantly dump, then your partner will no doubt feel ‘overwhelmed’ or ‘parental’ or like a ‘therapist’.

So if you can not offer anything to form a healthy relationship then yes, fix your own crap first! I did before reuniting with ‘B’.

With your B, clearly for such in depth analysis there is something unfinished. That could be because you’re valuing yourself based on how others value you. If B hasn’t contacted you, wanting to get back together, then you feel unwanted and get that awful feeling about yourself. It may have absolutely nothing to do with you though too and you simply feel purely your story with him is incomplete.

Considering the amount of time you spend with him on your mind, no matter how much you analyse and try to gain meaning it will not help, further questions will continue to arise as you’re unable to fill in the blanks.

My honest advice is you confront it head on and ask him for a 1 to 1 meet and say how you feel. The longer you leave it the more time wasted, you need clarity. Other than ego is there anything holding you back?

When we really want and believe in something we muster the courage to overcome the fear. Fortune favours the brave.

Just a point I’ve recalled, us men can say stupid things at times especially when we have missed someone, when I met B to clear the air, I also ended up uttering I thought you would have contacted me first, needless to say it didn’t go down too well either.

There’s an element of self doubt and self esteem issue underlying all this but that’s something only you can fix within. No matter how much someone else tries to reassure you,until you accept it. Words will feel hollow.

Food for thought- don’t ever place too much focus on what others perceptions are. You are the only one who knows the person on an intimate level and the intricacies of your relationship. Learning to trust your own instincts is key in keeping the bad eggs away.

If it was mimicry, to do that for an extended period of time would make him manipulative, men can be and if that’s the case then you also have to realise you accepted that treatment which takes you back to the whole possible self esteem issue. Manipulative men prey on insecure women.