Hi Anita,

I feel better, thank you.

In regards to my lashing out, I did not call him names, or threatening him. It was more demanding from my side, i.e I said, ‘why is it so hard for you to pick up my calls, and I was incredibly selfish to actually hope you could come even though you are sick, and I was upset as well with your disappearance act yesterday night.’

The next morning when I re-read again my texts, I could not help but to blame myself since my texts sounded angry.

You are so right, he is a man who likes quiet and peacefulness. But, I am different, I am very vocal about my feelings, any conflicts arising, or even any slight thing that bothers me.

In these past weeks, I was blaming myself quite a lot for not controlling my emotions better.  I talked to my family and counselor about every single thing, they told me to be kind to myself and accept every human being has their own flaws. Even though I kept myself busy and tired throughout the period of January, my mind was busy with the heartbreak.

I had to admit maybe I was the coward one, I could not stay at my rented house for a whole week since every nook and cranny reminded me of him, I could not watch my favorite shows, I could not eat properly, I could not be myself anymore.

Journaling and encouraging words from my friends hugely help me to process and accept this breakup.

I have something to ask, do you still it is still okay if I cling to the hope of him coming back one day?

Thank,

Felis