I totally see your point and I have to agree. I also asked this to myself from time to time, however, I know he does everything to be better towards me. So I cannot blame him for that. Also, from what I’ve heard or saw, he already does that. He does hold himself from expressing so many thoughts. His mind is full with them. So sometimes he can slip up and say a few of them. As for the finals, I’m surprised how he managed to complete all of them, I saw how hard it was for him to try and go on, though. I guess I’ll have to observe my thoughts, my mind and him during our separation (his trip to his hometown) and then act accordingly. I know that I’d feel terrible, I’d feel terrible. But even if I get laid off from work because of my performance being terrible, I would stay alive. I would feel neutral from time to time. It would be terrible mostly but I would see the neutral moments as well.

You can see below how I can act rational sometimes. This applies to all humanbeings I guess.