Dear Emily:

I too used to think that it was just me. I learned, following wasting decades of life, that there is no such thing as: from now on.. I will do this or that and life will be better. Those temporary awakening can carry you only so far, a short distance,  and then you go backward to being a mess.

A true awakening will carry you a long distance, but it is not a pleasant, quick, magical process of awakening. And that’s the problem: you think you suffered enough in life and it is time that you get a break and have it easy for a change.. but not so.

If I made the rules, it would be easy and just. But I don’t make the rule, so I have to go by what is true to reality. In reality, people who suffer a lot, don’t get a break. You still have to work hard and long to make life better.

anita