So I met this guy back in spring of 2019 at an event my company was helping sponsor at his worl1 (he worked for a local harley-davidson dealership)

He annoyed me at first with his “future ex-girlfriend” comments, but after a month or so I agreed to partake on a benefit ride with him. After that I was pretty much hooked. He was super nice, funny, and genuinely seemed to want to spend time with me. We did end up having a major hiccup at the beginning when he left me at a bar to go hang out with another girl and left me stranded there to find a ride back to my car.. needless to say I was done at that point but after 2-3 days of constant apologizing and listing the waya he messed up, he asked for a 2nd chance which I decided to give.. after that things were really good. He would text all throughout the day asking when we could hang out again, Bringing me lunch and making fun plans for things to go do, and after a month or 2 he was practically crashing at my place 5 days a week.

We found out 3 months afterwards that he had been accepted for a management position at another dealership in North Carolina. I was the first one he told and hated that I was so hurt over it. He promised we would figure things out and that we would get through this as he hoped to move back after a year.

He never was one for “labels” but I felt the need to ask where exactly we stood since he was going to be so far away. I have been through many mentally and physically abusive relationships in the past so I like a little reassurance from time to time.

Everything was great for the first couple of months but then the texts slowed down a lot and shortly afterwards I found out 2 other girls had drove out there just to “hang out” and when I asked him about it he denied it and said I was overreacting. He even had a girl that worked with him move in his house as a “roommate” that he never once told me about until she sent me screenshots of all their conversations with him declaring his love for her and all that crap. (Which of course he denied as well)

I am extremely close with his parents and love them dearly and they were also shocked about his behavior.  Fast forward a year and things are still about the same. I’m still asking where we stand and it’s the same response of “you should know, so you don’t need to keep asking” yet at this point, we hadn’t had sex in almost 10-11 months and when I brought that up he would get annoyed with me.

I finally got fed up with everything and he drove in to pick up the rest of his belongings from my house and stated that “he wanted to love me, that he had tried, but just couldn’t” and that really destroyed me and currently still does. He would always tell me that I was perfect and that he didn’t deserve someone like me, that I was the kind of girl guys dreamt about having in their life… yet tells me I am unlovable..

Since then he will act like nothing ever happened and I’m trying to be the bigger person bc I still really do care a lot about him. I’m just so lost bc I dont want to not have him in my life, even if he doesn’t feel the same way, but how can you say something like that to someone and still expect them to be there knowing they still care… any other time in my life I would have slammed the door behind me but for some reason I just can’t seem to do that. I’ve never had this strong of a connection, even as one sided as it is. I just need help trying to make sense of all this mess.