Jazz,

It is odd, because you say you cannot do things you are doing! Your post says you can’t open, but the post is open! How strange!

I think you need to confront your fear so it stops controlling your decisions. It isn’t “I can’t take a big problem and ask for help” it is “I am afraid to ask for help.” We are all afraid of asking for help, and those of us who genuinely heal are the ones who ask anyway. You already did, so no more excuses why you can’t! 🙂

Ticht Naht Hahn says that when we are suffering, it is difficult to say to our loved ones “I am suffering, please help.” It is difficult to be so vulnerable and open. However, it is within that vulnerability that we find the strength and community that helps us to heal. When we open, we find that we are not alone, and people have been through similar difficulties and are more than willing to share the innovations that help us.

Part of the courage to open is accepting that not all people will open back. It has nothing to do with you, it is just them and where they are. If you put your self out there and are rejected, don’t give up, just move on. I have found so many people who open back, I know that if we keep jumping, trusting, learning, we will eventually fly.

With warmth,
Matt