Hi Sammy, please don’t apologise, I’ve was looking before you even said anything and even before the hook up in January, I’m limited to what I can see but intelligent enough to work stuff out, anyway I’ve well and truly burned my fingers doing it because of how’s if made me feel but I would rather know because curiosity would eat away at me, I know it hinders the whole healing process when your seeing up to date pictures and even the name in text which is why I haven’t been getting any better but I feel I’ve learnt my lesson now.

I did feel anxious about contacting my gp but after the weekend I felt I really didn’t have a choice in the matter so we will see how that goes, I do feel a bit of weight off my shoulders for doing it because it is positive and my mum and sister are really pleased as they think it will help me find light at the end of the tunnel. All I want to do now is drop this attachment and move on, the last 18 months if I’m honest has been very detrimental to my well being but also taught me a lot.

I really do hope at some point I can find someone who can return the love and support I can provide and experience a whole different relationship, your words give me the belief I will find it.

The trim look is a combination of both I guess lol, I am eating everyday although not as much as I used to but the job I do now I’m averaging 12k steps in walking so that is helping me and thank you I know I’m doing well considering the circumstances, I just want to keep building and eventually get the place where I want to be.