Dear Weiword:

You are welcome. So your question was not how to make sure kids believe in “a kind, helpful, and wonderful reality”, but how kids believe reality as it is, instead of believing in fiction/ make-believe ideas like destiny. (Your original question suggests that if children separate reality from fiction, it will be helpful to them, they will be kinder to each other, and their lives will be wonderful?)

My answer to your question how to make kids believe in reality and not in fiction in regard to destiny: teach kids that part of what happens to them is out of their control, and part of what happens to them is in their control. Help them, over time, to be able to tell the difference between (1) what is partly or wholly in their control, and (2) what is not at all in their control.

Help them accept and move on from the second, and learn what appropriate action to take about the first. An example: the kid gets a bad grade on a math test (the teacher did not make a mistake in the grading)- the kid can not change the reality of that one test, and therefore, it’s okay to feel sad or angry or whatnot about the grade for a little while, but not to get stuck in those feelings.

Instead of allowing the kid to get stuck in those feelings, ask the kid what action he can take to get a better overall grade in math, and help him come up with answers, for example: spend more time on homework every day, ask the teacher how can he improve his overall grade.

anita