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Dear IkO9:
“I don’t wish to indulge with anyone for some time”- in two relationships, years long, you experienced a lot of unnecessary drama, conflict and distress. No wonder you want a break from that experience!
You spent only 12 weeks with the two men in physical proximity: 3 months of being able to hold hands, to go for a walk together, to share a meal, to look at each other’s eyes, etc.. Even during those rare opportunities to be physically together, you experienced unnecessary drama and distress, such as in that night that ended with you being left at 11 pm on a deserted street.
I hope you rest well from these two long-term, long-distance experiences and enjoy some peace of mind in which you find new hope, and the knowing that you indeed are worthy of a better relationship experience!
anita