Dear Melanie,

I am sorry you’re feeling so devastated. When I read this:

I feel dead inside. Every single moment is heartbreaking. I feel totally discarded… would he ever take me back? Was I that bad? I want to make everything right.

it sounds like something you’d say to your mother. When she left you alone in the car in the night so she could go drink, you felt totally discarded and heart-broken (and horrified). The child always blames themselves for being mistreated by the parents, so you’d ask her: “Was I that bad? I want to make everything right.” You took the blame for being mistreated, you felt there was something wrong with you.

Your immense pain now is the same as when you were a child, abandoned by your unpredictable mother. You felt helpless and scared because you never knew what she would do next.

Does this resonate with you? Where was your father? Was he in the picture?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Tee.