Hi Anita &Teak

  I think I didn’t explain it the way it is, I am not putting the right words. My mom showed love and care to all of us in the childhood. When my sister started getting issues, my mom couldn’t help much. One of the main reason apart from not being able to was, my sisters used to fight a lot with my mom at time time. Every single day in the morning before leaving to school, they used to shout at mom for every single thing like if they don’t like the breakfast, if the uniform was not ironed well and for various reasons. It was affecting me as well. And few times I have also shouted at her. These things affected her a lot and she became more weak after that. And with the massage, it is not anything physical at all. I don’t do it all the time. Only when she herself is not able to do. I do that dry kind of massage for leg pain for my dad too sometime. Here, it is an affectionate kind of gesture to hold legs for parents when they have leg pain. So nothing more than that. She doesn’t enjoy it physically. She asked me that day because whe was very low and also she was very tired. She has faced a lot of abuse from my sisters as well as dad. Not something so brutal but verbal and fight etc. That is again a different lengthy story on her.

She wants be to go outside of my comfort zone, to a different country. She usually encourages me to go out and do something. Follow my dreams. She infact was wishing to move to Canada. My sister fights with my mom till now and that destroys her mental health and peace. So she used to call me up and complain or talk about what is happening at home when I was going to office in a different city. So I think I have grown up weak with insecurities partly by genes and also the way we were brought up. And that continued and developed, and I didn’t work towards improving it. I need to do that atleast now. As I said I will focus the workouts and what I can do to imrove my confidence and satisfaction of accomplishment. So I will probably be busy setting up the equipments and getting started with the workouts for this transformation challenge now.  Thank you both for the efforts to help me out. Take care and be safe.