Dear Javier,

you’re making a very good decision to see a mental health professional, because you do need someone to help you, you can’t pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.

Please know one thing: you’re not a lost soul and you were meant to be born. You got born into a very difficult environment that caused so much damage to you. Now is the time to start repairing that damage. You’re 42, years and years are ahead of you, you can heal the wound and write a new script. You said you would like that. You said “I will and want to do every thing to “wake up” and start living.” Indeed, it is possible to start living again, even after the kind of trauma you’ve been through. So don’t give up hope, seek help, make that first step to your new life.

And let us know how the appointment with the mental health professional went. Wish you luck!