Dear TeaK

Thank you so much for the tips you mentioned above, i’m so grateful. If i feel struggled on those problems above, i’ll re read your tips to feel better.

So recently i have a new problem, this problem is driving me insane that i even hit my own head with my hand, i know its wrong but i feel so hopeless… i cant control my thoughts. I even have difficulties sleeping due to this problem… i even cried because idk what i should do to stop this thoughts.

So the problem is that yesterday is my birthday, so one of my best friend’s grandfather has passed away on the same day as my birthday. And that best friend of mine joined with my other friends to send me a birthday cake to my house on my birthday. And i posted that cake pic on my instagram story, tagging all the people who bought it… including my best friend who’s grandfather has passed away. I feel bad, that im posting that cake pic and tagging him, when he’s feeling sad due to his grandfather passed away… and today is his birthday… and i send my wishes to him regarding his birthday and also his grandfather, i texted him on 2am in the morning and he replied me on 5pm, idk if he’s mad at me. I’m afraid that he might think im heartless, like he’s sad on my birthday.. why do i need to post that cake and tag him. And also because the day after my birthday is his birthday.

My second problem is also relating to my birthday yesterday, so one of my friend (girl) posted a pic of me and her… to wish me a happy birthday… and then i repost it. I really regret it, and a girl (this is the girl that i used to mention on my previous threads, she’s 4 years younger than me) whom both of used to like each other… saw that pic. She has send wishes to me before i post any instagram stories… she remembered my birthday even though when dont contact anymore. I believe this girl still has feelings for me but she wont tell me because she is forbidden to have any relationships with her parents, and she might open me a chance when she has graduated later (4 years from now)… but she saw that pic of me and my friend (girl). Idk what she might be thinking.
Before my birthday, im really sure she will wish me a happy birthday because she still sees me as a special person… and i’m right that she wishes me… but then i post that pic of me and my friend (girl). I really really regret it…. like i feel i might be throwing a chance for me and her to be together in the future… even though if right now isnt the right time.

And i just found out that she’s entering the same uni as me (i’ve graduated from that uni). And with that news i feel even more worried as i know how that uni works… and she could easily get close with a new male friend…. im afraid she might find a new boy that she likes there.

You can see my thread about her in my profile for better information, the title is :

“ I still cant forget about her? Should i really move on this time?“

The third problem is that i used to post on my instagram stories regarding my father’s business… i feel so regret that im doing this so people would be jealous of me and notice me. I posted a pic of lots of houses on construction (my father also runs a construction business), like i’ve been posting it for many times…. tbh i do that so people would praise that im rich and wont look down on me too… and also so that girls can see me as a man who has money. But on my birthday yesterday, most of my acquaintances dont text me at all after seeing my birthday posts on my instagram stories. I feel like i did them wrongly showing off like that, like i shouldnt do it… i really really regret it. I feel like throwing my phone if i think about this… as i cant change their thoughts anymore… as they’ve seen me showing off so many times…. tbh i didnt even do anything on that construction business, i just took a pic of it to post it on social media… but i posted it so that girls will look at me as a reliable man… im so so wrong. I feel like i shouldnt be showing off like that, it will only create more enemies… and make lots of people hate me…. i really wish to fix this one, i hate myself

I hope thay my explanation on these three problems doesnt sound confusing…

So these three problems cause me a headache till now, i feel so worried right now and also anxiety… idk if this is just me overthinking or not… i’m so sad right now with this regret.. like i cant fix it anymore.

Why is it so hard being an adult, like problems keep coming on me… i sometimes wish that i was not born at all in this world. If there’s a sign out button in my life… i will press it… im so tired of life.

I really hope that there’s a fix regarding these 3 problems… as all of it is relating to regret.